“Sharia … should not be allowed to operate in the UK.”
I had followed (Toni Bugle, founder of MARIAS) on Twitter for quite a while before we started speaking. She asked if I lived in the UK and from there we began to DM (“direct message”), exchanged mobile numbers and then spoke on the phone.
I wanted to share my experience, as I believe it is important for others who are still suffering to know that they are not alone and to also show that Sharia cannot and should not be allowed to operate in the UK.
I was forced into a marriage at the age of 18 (Ed: Shazia is now in her 40’s). The nikkah took place in my family home. It was obvious that I was not happy to be forced into the marriage but the molvi didn’t care. My father had decided I was to be married and his decision was gospel. The molvi didn’t give a damn about my feelings or my refusal to say ‘I do.’
The marriage was going ahead whether I agreed or not.
Forced into a marriage to a man much older than I was who made it clear, from the start, that he married me only for the red passport was hell. What else could it have been?
My mother told me I would grow to love him. Grow to love a man who raped me? Grow to love a man who raped me so violently one night that the next day I ended up in hospital?
Third wave feminists … are turning a blind eye to the atrocities going on in the Middle East and Europe.
I have been learning and reading about the impact of Sharia law in both the East and the West. The level of misogyny in various cultures and religions, particularly Islam, is appalling. With the recent influx of unvetted migrants from the Middle East into Europe and North America, the western world is crumbling economically and safety cannot be guaranteed. The reason I felt compelled to write about this topic is because facilitating it is what’s causing women, native and foreign alike, to suffer indefinitely.
The thing is, these atrocities to women are not limited to women living in the Middle East.
Over 1400 girls (and potentially up to 1 million girls) were sexually abused and prostituted by Pakistani Muslim grooming gangs over 16 years. Despite the pleas for help to local authorities, they were largely ignored and cases were covered up for the sake of political correctness.
I can personally attest to abuse from Muslim men, ranging from someone I dated and complete strangers while living in Tampa. In the few years I lived there, I was stalked by a complete stranger while I was shopping and I was groped by a strange man while attempting to swim laps in a gym pool. As for the prior relationship, he took advantage of my insecurities and sympathy in an attempt to control me. When I found out the truth regarding his personal character, I finally left and haven’t looked back.
Personally, I feel passionate about this topic because I’ve been a victim of misogyny and abuse throughout my life. From the time I was young, I felt like I was a disappointment to my father because I’d never be an obedient, good girl who stayed at home. I also witnessed my father being selfish and unkind toward my mother for a long time until she finally divorced him. As a result, I subconsciously accepted it and replayed the scenario countless times in my previous relationships. When I was sexually assaulted in my own home, it was my mom, not my father, who protected me and kicked the assailant out.
The point I’m trying to make is that if it’s this bad in a western society, imagine how much worse it could have been if I was raised in Sharia based upbringing.
If the same sexual assault happened under those circumstances, then I could have been subjugated to marrying my assailant. Or worse yet, I could have been a victim of honor killing for allowing myself to be sexually assaulted and putting shame on the family.
Original vs Third Wave Feminism
What bothers me right now is how third wave feminists in the United States are turning a blind eye to the atrocities going on in the Middle East and Europe.
The last thing any logical person would do is welcome potential thieves, rapists, and murderers with open arms and all allow them to exhaust all available resources. The goal of my blog is to educate westerners on the dangers of Sharia based Islam, discuss various topics and empower women & survivors of abuse.
I know there are many survivors of abuse out there and I want to empower them to not be afraid and learn how to protect themselves.
“… why would a non-Islamic country continue to allow these illegal (Sharia) courts to operate alongside the British legal system?”
Every 7 seconds a girl under 16 is forced into marriage… 16 years ago I was that girl, forced
into marriage, literally at gunpoint, by my uncle in Kashmir.
The attitude of the British Government now is exactly what it was 16 years ago.
They say Sharia has no basis in English law, so there’s no need to declare it illegal.
In which case how did what happened to me … actually happen?
After my forced marriage, on returning to the UK, immigration services told me that if my
marriage was not registered in this country, it would not be valid. It was never registered.
And yet after a long fight against the UK legal system, including my own solicitor, at the age
of 21 I had no choice but to accept a divorce through the UK courts. This was despite my
attempts to get the marriage annulled, as it should have been.
Therefore, in this instance, Sharia clearly took precedence over UK law.
Whenever I called him out on the misogyny and horrible things in the Koran, he’d accuse me of being racist and Islamophobic.
I admit I’ve followed you for awhile but was afraid to publicly show my support when I was dating my ex, but found the strength to break away and I’m dating a wonderful American guy. I’d like to share my story with you, but anonymously because my ex & I used to work together and share some common friends.
I wasn’t groomed or raped, but rather it was a combination of emotional manipulation and fear of being seen as an Islamophobe. I had dated a Muslim guy in the past, but he was a Muslim only in name and only participated in holidays.
I grew up without a strong male role model and without a clear self-identity (I’m half Brazilian & European American). I also lacked self esteem and it was easy for him to use me.
A 16 year old Muslim Apostate sends MARIAS her story
How would you expect a normal dad to react? Congratulate his daughter on reaching this milestone in her life? See her happiness and smile? Be thrilled at the prospect of future children, marriage, albeit slightly far ahead? Be nervous and hope it works out, wanting to protect her from heartache?
That’s what normal fathers do. I do not have a normal father.
“I do not have a normal father.”
I hinted during his numerous attempts to harass me I was dating by texting “I’ve met someone”. A fairly ambiguous statement. Not explicit. I was shaking, my breaths coming fast. I was more nervous than I was telling him this than my apostasy, which is saying something.
This was the dad who loved to see his daughter obscure her body in a black solid mass, eyes, hands and all. Who pressured her to wear the hijab and abaya. Who threw a tantrum if a strand of hair was out of place, who constantly kept tabs on my movements in case I was at a boy’s house. Who smashed a vase against the wall because I had a male friend at school, who was gay. He knew that. Yet he still persecuted me. When I was a chaste virgin, and totally innocent.
I had my heart in my mouth as I clicked “sent”. Straightaway he was on the phone, demanding answers, calling me a whore, asking me who I was with, when did I meet him, was I still ‘pure’, what religion he was. He ended up slamming the phone down in pure rage and physically shaking, he told me.
He called later and questioned me to the point I gave him the answer he was looking for. ‘I mean, I met a friend’. He asked if I was sure. I said yes. I didn’t trust my virginity obsessed dad to not hurt me. His relief was palpable in his voice. He cried out thank god!
“Why must we be subjected to how we ruined your honour, and let the family down, for simply falling in love and being in love with life and the world?”
I didn’t expect anything better. What is it about your daughters that threaten you so much? Why must we be subjected to how we ruined your honour, and let the family down, for simply falling in love and being in love with life and the world?
I realised my father, despite his proclamations of acceptance of my apostasy, critical nature of Islam, and atheism, was merely born out of a desire to repair his tattered honour and reputation, convert me back and marry me off. He let slip when he said ‘I know Islam is still in your heart, I will make you see it’.
It’s not. I don’t want Islam.
I don’t want to be married. I want to fall in love and love my life.
I don’t want to subscribe to your tribal ancient notions of family honour. I am a separate entity, I’m my own person. You respect me, or I leave. Too long I’ve cowered to men’s demands and kept myself away from potential partners.
I’m not the Muslim niqabi girl I was anymore. I don’t want an expensive arranged marriage at 17 to my first cousin you chose, dad. I don’t want to bear the children you wanted me to, and I don’t want the names you picked out for them.
“I want to spend my life living on my own terms”
I want to spend my life living on my own terms, falling in love, getting my heart broken and finding something akin to the One.
I’m not your slave anymore.
Wake up and realise. I am beautiful, I am bold, I am brave. I broke my shackles you placed on me. I am free.