People ask me why do I do what I do.
I believe the following letter says why MARIAS exists.
It’s from a victim who is now on a journey to becoming a survivor.
This young lady is someone I have given support to for 3 years. When I first met her she was disillusioned by the authorities who let her down.
Since coming across MARIAS she finally lays the blame at the feet of those who let her down and no longer feels she is herself to blame for what happened to her or for it being ignored.
To the medical professionals who did nothing.
Were you blind to my bruises, multiple sexually transmitted infections (you kept telling me to use protection, well I wasn’t allowed. You gave me treatment, I took the medication but how could it work when I was being raped by the same men very day) multiple pregnancies and terminations, some literally forced,the hundreds of cuts on my body,my multiple suicide attempts.
Were you deaf to my plea’s for help? Did you even listen when I told you what was happening? No. You had me down as a sex worker. Just like everybody else I suppose.
I came to the emergency room so many times begging for help. My wrists bleeding. You made me feel like I was wasting your time. It didn’t take me too long to give up on asking for your help.
I didn’t self harm for attention. I did in an attempt to keep men’s eyes off me, and to make my body untouchable. It didn’t really work though.
To the psychiatrist who said …
… she “didn’t know how much was fact or fiction ” when I confided in you that I was being raped and trafficked.
Do you ever think about me when you see on the news, girls telling their stories. Stories just like what I told you. It wasn’t in the news back then. Do you still think I made that up? I bet you don’t even remember me.
To the teachers who didn’t notice.
Did you never wonder why I refused to do physical education ? I’ll tell you why.
I couldn’t get changed in that open changing room, in front of the entire class. My body was covered in bruises from being beaten with a chain. Kicked in the ribs. Bruises on my wrists and arms from being held down by grown men. Cuts on my thighs and arms,belly and chest.
Do you remember all the detentions you gave me for refusing?
To the school as a whole.
Did you never wonder why I missed so much school? While you were teaching students maths,science,English.. I was in a cold room of a half renovated flat. Lying naked on a bed while approximately 8 men were taking turns raping me. Over and over.
It’s not that I didn’t want to learn. Where do you think I’d rather be? In that flat? Or in school?
To the parents …
… who kept their kids away from me because I was a bad influence.
I would have done everything to keep your child from being in the situation I was in. One of the parents who absolutely hated me, I took several punishments because I wouldn’t let your daughter go anywhere with the men who wanted her. The same men raping me. I paid the price , but you don’t know about that. Neither does your daughter.
To the kids who made fun of me …
… and called me a psycho because I had a nervous breakdown and because you had heard I self harmed.
I had good reason. You made things even more hopeless, I felt less of a human than ever.
To the police who told my mother I was a known prostitute when she came to you for help.. I was a child. Is there such thing a child prostitute?
To the officer who attended our home …
… to speak to me about my situation. I will never forget how angry you were with me, telling me that if I testify against my rapists and traffickers that you couldn’t offer me any protection and that I would have to get used to your very upsetting questions as that’s what I’d have to deal with in court.
You were the most insensitive officer I ever met, and the only reason I can think of for you being how you were, is that maybe you were covering up out of fear of causing racial tension? Or maybe it was too much paperwork for you. You made a very important decision for me that day never to trust the police again.
To the politically correct government …
… who refuse to see that Muslims are a problem … the idiots that think Islam is compatible with our ways? Think again. Open your eyes to the million girls already raped and trafficked by Pakistani Muslim gangs.
Promises made. They never seem to happen.
I wait and I wait. I wait for justice.
It’s never served, I wait to be moved by emergency transfer … meanwhile my rapists and traffickers are free to bang on my door, hang around my home and intimidate me … harass me, without punishment.
I have given the police so many names so long ago. Nothing has been done. You do fuck all. It feels like this will never end.
I could expose names but I’m not going to do that, you will all know who you are.
Too little done, too much to deal with, and now it’s too late.
This is why MARIAS will never turn it’s back on these girls.
This is why MARIAS exist and will continue to offer support to anyone who has been groomed and raped or a victim of abuse of any kind b they female of male.