21 year old, London-area ex-Muslim (Apostate) Murtada begins a new life thanks to her honesty and courage. And a little help from MARIAS founder, Toni Bugle + MARIAS supporters.
Due to the circumstances at home I had been wanting to leave my family for ages but I didn’t know how I could do that or who could help me.
I was contacted by a fellow ex Muslim from Twitter who told me if I ever needed help in getting away, she would be able to help me through it. Now the ball was in my court.
Was I strong enough to leave everything I had ever known and restart my life alone? I had some serious thinking to do.
Growing up in a Muslim household as a Muslim girl, life was suffocating to say the least. Even though my parents were what you could call moderate Muslims, and I had more freedom than most Muslim girls in my family, it still didn’t feel like I was being allowed to live my life how I wanted to.
I was constantly reminded of the ‘freedoms’ that my dad had allowed me to have that many Muslim girls aren’t allowed. I said “allow” because you belong to your father the moment you’re born, only to be passed onto your husband, as if you’re a piece of property being passed on from man to man.
To the young Muslim Apostate girls and women reading this who are stuck in my situation or even worse: You are not alone.
So it made me think; why are the Muslim girls around the world being treated less than human and pushed around like cattle? The answer is Sharia Law. When you have a barbaric law such as sharia, which its main purpose is to belittle and subjugate women we can’t expect anything else unfortunately.
However by the regressive left and liberals aka the MSM (Mainstream Media) it’s pushed onto us as the most feminist adherent law — as if it’s some sort of feminist Utopia — which couldn’t be further from the truth.
I couldn’t tell anyone that I was wanting to leave because every time I did speak about it with close friends, most of them wouldn’t understand just how dire my life had become. I would be told to constantly think of my family, what it would do to them if I ran away, my siblings, what would the Pakistani Muslim community say? The reputation of my parents would be shattered.
I mean imagine how awful it must look that so and so’s daughter finally decided she was tired of the emotional/physical abuse, the hell she experienced every day and wanted to live life for herself? Because surely instead of focusing on what’s actually wrong with our community — the honour killings, acid attacks, forced marriages — we must focus on the women in our community and make it our mission to destroy their lives as much as we can. After all the woman lover (aka child molester) Mohamad did say it’s acceptable to beat your wife if you feel she’s disrespecting you.
So I decided to make that leap of faith and give it a go. My mental health was deteriorating and I felt I had run out of reasons to be strong and continue life. There’s nothing to look forward to when living in such an environment like that. I was plagued with suicidal thoughts and I nearly gave in a few times, but I was saved just in time by Toni Bugle.
Toni Bugle is the founder of MARIAS which is a non funded organisation (Editor: MARIAS is self-funded and neither receives nor seeks government funding), that helps women who have been victims of (Muslim) rape gangs, domestic abuse and girls of Muslim heritage like me.
These so-called “Dirty Kuffars” … that the Quran (so condemns) … are in fact some of the sweetest, kind-hearted, caring humans I’ve ever come across.
The first conversation with Toni I was pretty nervous but she made me feel at ease straight away. She asked me about my life, my reasons for wanting to leave Islam and why I need to get away from home ASAP. The conversation flowed and I felt at ease opening up to her.
She promised she would try her hardest to find me a place and put messages up on social media. The response was amazing. So many people offered me a spare room, a bed, anything they had. I’ve never been so touched in my life. All these strangers who knew nothing about me were willing to do so much. These so called “Dirty Kuffars”, were the ones who offered me a place to stay, a place to feel safe. These people that the Quran speaks of as having no morals, lacking empathy, selfish individuals are in fact; some of the sweetest, kind-hearted, caring humans I’ve ever come across.
I’ve now found a place somewhere far away from my own home with people that I cannot wait to meet. The moment Toni told me about this arrangement I was over the moon! I finally saw that maybe after all there may be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Without MARIAS I wouldn’t be able to start my life. Without them I wouldn’t have been given the chance to make something of my life. This organisation has done so much to help me.
And finally to any of the young girls and women reading this who are stuck in my situation or even worse: you’re not alone. You don’t need to put up with that kind of treatment.
You deserve freedom.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live your life on your own terms …
You deserve freedom. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live your life on your own terms without feeling guilty.
You are more than what your family or community thinks of you. You don’t have any obligations to uphold the ‘honour’ of your family. Fuck that honour. Fuck their expectations.
Just know there are people out there who have been through it. I’ve made this huge decision to leave and you can do it to.
I won’t lie. I am scared, apprehensive and excited all at once but I know that with the right support around me I can make it in life.
If it wasn’t for organisations like MARIAS I would still be at home like you, thinking about how on earth do I get myself out of this shit? Not anymore though.
I truly hope that you girls and women will get to live the life you deserve to live.
It will happen; but you’ve got to make that leap.
(Name withheld. See also here.)
Here is a report sent to MARIAS from Murtada, a 21 year old secret ex Muslim (Apostate) still living at home in the London Area …
“Islam makes it very clear the contempt
and hatred it has for the non believers.”
Growing up in an Islamic household I knew from a young age that it wasn’t normal to live the way we did. Even though my parents had ‘assimilated into British society’ and I use that in quotes because there was still this very strong aspect of Islamic culture in the background of whatever we did or could do.
Growing up I was told that Allah and Mohamad come before anyone or anything. That we must always be faithful to God because he will be the judge of us in the after life, and if he wasn’t pleased, it would be a one way ticket to hell. (Or if you’re lucky maybe Allah might forgive you eventually and send you to heaven so you can be with your husband, who’s being kept busy by his 72 virgins till then).
On one hand I was being told that Allah loves us all and wants the best for us but on the other hand I was being told that Allah hates those who disbelieve in him, disobey him, question him, commit haram acts just in order to fit into kuffar (derogatory term for non Muslims) society and there will be a fit punishment for those people.
Now as you can imagine this confused me greatly, and I really started to struggle with holding onto my Muslim identity and my English identity. I couldn’t seem to find a way to make them both work together. It felt as if it was either I had to choose Islam or choose the dirty kuffar lifestyle. Because Islam makes it very clear the contempt and hatred it has for the non believers.
So I really started to feel like I was living in two worlds.
You’re never taught to
question, you just accept …
One world in which I could be me with my close friends, a free young English woman of Pakistani heritage, loving England for it has been the only home I’ve ever known. I could be interested in boys, make up, cute clothes, just be a normal teenager. Sadly the other world at home, which was my reality, I was a Muslim girl, who’s thoughts and questions were dismissed simply because I had a vagina. I was told to keep myself dressed modestly in front of my father or any male relatives at all times, I was told that I’m a pearl, that must be protected at all costs.
My father has a favourite saying ‘women should be seen and not heard’. I later realised the reasons for why I was treated this way; Sharia Law and Islam.
I remember thinking: Why do we need to have another law when we have the law of the land in England? Why does sharia law supersede any other law? Should there not be one law for all? It makes so much sense when you think about it, but Muslims have a way of playing the race card against them. I used to do this myself. I didn’t know any different at the time.
If someone said anything against Islam you could just scream “Islamophobia!” and automatically people will side with you in fear of not wanting to be seen as racist. I started to struggle with self harm and suicidal thoughts which made me question god’s existence, something that you mustn’t even admit out loud in a Muslim household.
Again, you’re never taught to question, you just accept what you’ve been told because hey it’s magic sky daddy’s AKA Allah’s word over yours. So whenever I would question my father about Islam, about the violent passages he would just try and justify them or brush over them. (I’ve learnt now that it’s a tactic called taqiyya, which Muslims can do in order to protect the image of Islam.)
I asked him about verse 4:34 Surah an Nisa in the Quran, why does it say that you’re allowed to beat your wife if she doesn’t do what you ask of her? His response ‘Allah has given men a hand over women. They are stronger and more emotionally mature. Plus it doesn’t say to beat her hard, just enough so she can learn from her mistake’.
Hearing this made me physically sick and angry, how could he say that? Does he not care or love his daughters? Of course not because he has no issue beating their mum in front of them and calling her names such as bitch, whore, slut, useless, animal etc. From that moment on I lost a big chunk of faith in Allah.
“Apostates like myself can be
executed for leaving Islam.”
All the talks about Islam and Mohamad being so “feminist,” meant nothing.
However I still couldn’t let go of Allah until a few years later because I was so heavily indoctrinated. Sharia law ruins the lives of women, gays and minorities. It’s beyond medieval and has no place in a country like Great Britain.
In sharia law men can marry up to 4 women, women can be stoned to death if found guilty of adultery. People who have sex outside of marriage can be stoned or lashed to death. Gays can be thrown off roof top buildings, men can beat their wives. Apostates like myself can be executed for leaving Islam. You can be whipped if you say anything that’s considered blasphemous. Non Muslims have to pay Jizya, which is a tax for not practicing Islam. I mean this is a real threat. It’s not a joke.
I certainly wouldn’t expect to feel safe speaking out as an ex Muslim in Pakistan but I should be able to feel safe in my own country, should I not? Especially in a democracy like ours. We all know that sharia councils exist in the UK but they’re functioning undercover, I’m sure police know about them too but are too afraid to do anything all in the name of political correctness.
There are certain cultures and religions that just do not belong in a western civilisation. There are some cultures that will not benefit you in any way. And it certainly does not make you racist to say that. I mean look at Europe; Sweden, Germany, France. They’re committing national suicide. Women are being gang raped, murdered, natives of those lands are afraid to leave their own homes.
These so called refugees are nothing but scum. They’re not fleeing any war they are just economical migrants looking to start a better life. They come from countries that are run by sharia law. These men have the mindset that women belong in the kitchen, they need to be covered or she is asking for it, that they need to listen to the men in their family because they are in charge. A woman must never be seen with a male who’s not a relative or she will be destroying the families honour. But the men can fuck all the kuffar women because well they’re whores in their eyes, they’re easy, dirty, cheap and mean nothing to them.
“Islam … has done nothing but ruin lives.”
This is the mindset that even British Muslims share.
Pakistani grooming gangs have targeted all white girls for those very reasons I’ve listed. I know what this culture is like and the way these people think. Islam has corrupted their mind. Of course we shouldn’t take away someone’s freedom to believe in Allah or sharia law but when their choice to believe in something starts affecting the lives of millions of innocent people, we need to put a foot down and say enough is enough.
I do not want this country to be destroyed. We are far too great of a nation to pander to this barbaric 7th century ideology that has done nothing but ruin lives.
When we say no to sharia; we say yes to seeing women and minorities as humans and treating them accordingly.
(Real name withheld)