21 year old, London-area ex-Muslim (Apostate) Murtada begins a new life thanks to her honesty and courage. And a little help from MARIAS founder, Toni Bugle + MARIAS supporters.
Due to the circumstances at home I had been wanting to leave my family for ages but I didn’t know how I could do that or who could help me.
I was contacted by a fellow ex Muslim from Twitter who told me if I ever needed help in getting away, she would be able to help me through it. Now the ball was in my court.
Was I strong enough to leave everything I had ever known and restart my life alone? I had some serious thinking to do.
Growing up in a Muslim household as a Muslim girl, life was suffocating to say the least. Even though my parents were what you could call moderate Muslims, and I had more freedom than most Muslim girls in my family, it still didn’t feel like I was being allowed to live my life how I wanted to.
I was constantly reminded of the ‘freedoms’ that my dad had allowed me to have that many Muslim girls aren’t allowed. I said “allow” because you belong to your father the moment you’re born, only to be passed onto your husband, as if you’re a piece of property being passed on from man to man.
To the young Muslim Apostate girls and women reading this who are stuck in my situation or even worse: You are not alone.
So it made me think; why are the Muslim girls around the world being treated less than human and pushed around like cattle? The answer is Sharia Law. When you have a barbaric law such as sharia, which its main purpose is to belittle and subjugate women we can’t expect anything else unfortunately.
However by the regressive left and liberals aka the MSM (Mainstream Media) it’s pushed onto us as the most feminist adherent law — as if it’s some sort of feminist Utopia — which couldn’t be further from the truth.
I couldn’t tell anyone that I was wanting to leave because every time I did speak about it with close friends, most of them wouldn’t understand just how dire my life had become. I would be told to constantly think of my family, what it would do to them if I ran away, my siblings, what would the Pakistani Muslim community say? The reputation of my parents would be shattered.
I mean imagine how awful it must look that so and so’s daughter finally decided she was tired of the emotional/physical abuse, the hell she experienced every day and wanted to live life for herself? Because surely instead of focusing on what’s actually wrong with our community — the honour killings, acid attacks, forced marriages — we must focus on the women in our community and make it our mission to destroy their lives as much as we can. After all the woman lover (aka child molester) Mohamad did say it’s acceptable to beat your wife if you feel she’s disrespecting you.
So I decided to make that leap of faith and give it a go. My mental health was deteriorating and I felt I had run out of reasons to be strong and continue life. There’s nothing to look forward to when living in such an environment like that. I was plagued with suicidal thoughts and I nearly gave in a few times, but I was saved just in time by Toni Bugle.
Toni Bugle is the founder of MARIAS which is a non funded organisation (Editor: MARIAS is self-funded and neither receives nor seeks government funding), that helps women who have been victims of (Muslim) rape gangs, domestic abuse and girls of Muslim heritage like me.
These so-called “Dirty Kuffars” … that the Quran (so condemns) … are in fact some of the sweetest, kind-hearted, caring humans I’ve ever come across.
The first conversation with Toni I was pretty nervous but she made me feel at ease straight away. She asked me about my life, my reasons for wanting to leave Islam and why I need to get away from home ASAP. The conversation flowed and I felt at ease opening up to her.
She promised she would try her hardest to find me a place and put messages up on social media. The response was amazing. So many people offered me a spare room, a bed, anything they had. I’ve never been so touched in my life. All these strangers who knew nothing about me were willing to do so much. These so called “Dirty Kuffars”, were the ones who offered me a place to stay, a place to feel safe. These people that the Quran speaks of as having no morals, lacking empathy, selfish individuals are in fact; some of the sweetest, kind-hearted, caring humans I’ve ever come across.
I’ve now found a place somewhere far away from my own home with people that I cannot wait to meet. The moment Toni told me about this arrangement I was over the moon! I finally saw that maybe after all there may be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Without MARIAS I wouldn’t be able to start my life. Without them I wouldn’t have been given the chance to make something of my life. This organisation has done so much to help me.
And finally to any of the young girls and women reading this who are stuck in my situation or even worse: you’re not alone. You don’t need to put up with that kind of treatment.
You deserve freedom.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live your life on your own terms …
You deserve freedom. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live your life on your own terms without feeling guilty.
You are more than what your family or community thinks of you. You don’t have any obligations to uphold the ‘honour’ of your family. Fuck that honour. Fuck their expectations.
Just know there are people out there who have been through it. I’ve made this huge decision to leave and you can do it to.
I won’t lie. I am scared, apprehensive and excited all at once but I know that with the right support around me I can make it in life.
If it wasn’t for organisations like MARIAS I would still be at home like you, thinking about how on earth do I get myself out of this shit? Not anymore though.
I truly hope that you girls and women will get to live the life you deserve to live.
It will happen; but you’ve got to make that leap.
(Name withheld. See also here.)